This is a translation of the first part of Kawachino Yuumi’s monologue in ZYPRESSEN. I really loved this monologue, and while I don’t have the patience to translate the whole monologue, I wanted to at least share the opening lines, which is still a very good passage on its own. There aren’t any spoilers here, so feel free to read on. Many thanks to @hacaplus, who edited my raw translation. Enjoy!
Why does the lion, even from birth, feed on the gazelle?
The lush green of the savanna basks under the midday sun:
Could it not have chosen to graze on the plains instead?
And yet, the lion still hunts the gazelle, still hunts the antelope, and sometimes even the beautiful cheetah, one of its own kind.
It cares not for the gazelle’s innocent eyes, nor for its lustrous coat of fur;
its prey is nothing but a sack of flesh and blood.
It would simply rip the sack open, tearing its skin, crushing its skull, and scattering its insides underfoot.
The choice to feed on the grassy wilderness never existed from the start. To feed on the weakest, most delicate member of the herd was the only way the lion knew how to live.
None would think that to be strange,
for there is no need to question the laws of nature.
Why did I fall in love with the same sex?
I could never find an answer to that question.
Just as a carnivore cannot help but feed on the weak, I too cannot help but yearn for other women.
The choice to love a man never existed from the start. To love the weakest, most delicate girl among the herd was the only way I knew how to live.
I never needed a reason or explanation for it. I was simply attracted to women for as long as I can recall.
When did I start to realize that?
I can’t remember when I first noticed it.
It’s nothing but an instinct. I had a crush on my kindergarten teacher. I could not stop thinking about the idols I would watch on TV.
I love women. Nothing more, nothing less.
And yet, it seems the rest of the world would not approve of this.
No, I don’t even need their approval.
I would be perfectly fine with being left alone and ignored.
But society isn’t tolerant enough to allow me even that.
It makes me uncomfortable whenever I get asked “why”,
As if I needed a reason to love women in the first place.
And yet, they continue to ask:
You are all fools. You all think that just because you all happen to be attracted to the opposite sex, just because you all happen to be the majority, everyone must be held to the same standard.
You are all fools lacking imagination, lacking the basic capacity to think for yourselves. You all think yourselves to be correct just because you were born that way.
And when a man would ask me “why?”, all my hairs would stand on end.
If they could just imagine it, even for one moment, they’d understand.
They would understand that the stench they emanate makes me shiver. That their vulgar hands appear like they were carved out of mud and dirt. That their ugly bodies look like they’re wrapped in pubic hair.
Imagine it. Imagine being assaulted by a body like that.
I wouldn’t be able to bear it.
That’s how it feels to be held by a man.